Home

Home is one of the most important things you can have. In Maslow’s Pyramid of Needs, a home provides for shelter and safety, two of the mot basic needs. But more than that, a home provides a place of love and belonging.

A home is not just a physical location. A home is comprised of far more than walls and floors. Home is the people and places where you are free to be oneself, safe from normal social dangers, defended against the elements, embraced, encouraged, refreshed, and comforted.

A large part of home is family. While your family can be those you are related to by blood or law, your true family is composed of those whom you love and enjoy. You may not always agree with family or like them, but when it comes right down to it, family is the people you know will always catch you when you fall.

Given this definition, family ceases to be dictated, and becomes a choice. As a young child, you are stuck with the traditional family, for better or for worse. As you grow more independent, family may expand to include friends, or even other families. The more people you meets in sports, clubs, schools, bands, neighborhoods, religious groups, or other activities, the more your family may expand.

It is at this point, both in this essay and in life, that you must be careful in identifying and distinguishing friends from family. Friends come in all shapes and sizes. They are the people we meet, and continue to spend time with because of similar interests. Friends can have a huge impact on what we do, think, and say. However, friends tend to flow in and out of our lives, and do not change our core beliefs. It is not a reflection of poor friendship on either side, it is simply how life is.

Family never leaves, though they may not seen or spoken to every day. They are the people who you will never live without. No matter where they are, Indiana, California, Germany, or dead, they are a crucial part of you and your history. Try as we may sometimes, we are never rid of our family. And deep down, we wouldn’t have it any other way.

Another distinction that can be made between family and friends  is that while friends can stab us in the back, it is family who can completely dismember us. Harsh worlds or unkind acts from a friend may hurt, but they cannot cut as deep or last as long as those wounds created by a family member. The bonds between friends are like woven ropes, while the bonds of family are like steel cords embedded deeply into who we are. When the bonds of family break, or even strain, we feel the pain in the core of who we are.

Those who we consider friends can become our family, and those whom society may call our “family” may only be friends or acquaintances. By weathering storms together, making a conscious effort, and truly desiring for another to be all they can be, a simple acquaintance may become a dear family member.

For the most part, it is unnecessary to articulate who is a friend and who is a family member, but at critical junctures in our life, it is important to step back and take stock of those around us; those whom we know and enjoy, those whom we love, those whom we ought to reconnect with, and those whom we must let the swift tides of life carry away on their own journeys.

 We may never replace our family, but we can expand it. That way, wherever we go, we may always find the comfort of home.